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Remembering the Man

Remembering the Man

The real couple behind 'Holding the Man'.

201583 minMidcredits score: 89th percentile of all films
Directors
Nickolas Bird, Eleanor Sharpe
Starring
Richard Bligh, George Banders, Reece Manning, Denis Moore

At an exclusive Catholic boys school in Melbourne 1976, Tim Conigrave and John Caleo fell madly in love. Their passionate, tempestuous, operatic romance lasted for 16 years, facing disapproval, temptation, separation, and the looming shadow of the Grim Reaper. Their relationship has been immortalised in Conigrave's posthumous autobiography Holding the Man (now a major Australian film directed by Neil Armfield). This is the true story of how Romeo met Romeo and how first love can not only last but endure.

Where to watch

Where can I watch Remembering the Man?

As of October 24, 2026, MovieCove lists Remembering the Man to rent or buy on Prime Video, and on no subscription service.

Your rating, lists and review

Highlights

What stands out about Remembering the Man?

Remembering the Man earns 4 badges, led by Hidden Gem and Award Winner.

  • Reception
  • Craft and mood
  • Awards and box office

Reception

Is Remembering the Man worth watching?

Remembering the Man's Midcredits score is the 89th percentile of all films, from 227 ratings across 3 sources. 74% liked it (rated it 7 or higher out of 10).

Midcredits score

How well it was received

89th percentile

Better received than 89% of films

74th percentile among Documentary89th percentile among 2010s
Acclaim (how much people like it)91st
Approval (how many liked it)84th

75 /100

91st percentile of all films

75th percentile among Documentary91st percentile among 2010s

Rating distribution

Big peaks at both ends — people either love this or bounce off it hard.

74% liked it

84th percentile of all films

67th percentile among Documentary84th percentile among 2010s
74% rated it 7–1026% rated it 1–6

Awards

0 Oscars won · 0 Oscar noms · 7 wins / 5 noms overall

18th percentile

227 ratings across platforms

42nd percentile among Documentary22nd percentile among 2010s
TMDB popularity, last 37 days to Oct 26Up 20% in 30 days

Watch experience

What is Remembering the Man like to watch?

Conclusions only — categories and positions, no plot detail.

Moving and bittersweet: browse every movie of this kind

Watch this when you are ready for heavy feelings, and you want a story that moves you and leaves an ache.

It takes its time and leaves you bittersweet. Skip it when you want an easy night or you want things to move fast.

ToneFeelDemandwhat the answer rests onexact position · filled zone: the category

What it asks of you

Room for heavy feelings and patience.

What it feels like

Moving and bittersweet.

The answer rests on this: Moods
RomanticMelancholicBittersweet
Heaviest: late
Warm humor
Register
Solemn: Grave and dignified; treats its subject with weight and respect.Tender · 13% of films
Told as
Nonlinear · 6% of films: Events shown out of chronological order.
ToneTreats its subjects with respectful gravity, allowing their story to speak through interviews and reenactments.
The rideThe romance is passionate and joyful, but overshadowed by impending loss, with the emotional weight concentrated toward the end as the Grim Reaper looms.
StructureCombines reenactments and archival interviews, intercutting past and present.

How it leaves you

what you carry away

Bittersweet.

The answer rests on this: BittersweetHaunting · 14% of films
Why it leaves you this wayLeaves the viewer with the beauty and tragedy of a love cut short by AIDS.
How it ends · evidence
Bittersweet ending

Story archetype

where it sits among all films
Monster — 21% of films. A threat menaces the hero's world and must be defeated.Rags — 3% of films. A rise from lowliness to fortune, status, or recognition.Quest — 10% of films. A journey toward a defined objective, with companions and obstacles.Voyage — 4% of films. Into a strange world and back again, changed.Comedy — 11% of films. Confusion and cross-purposes resolved into harmony.Tragedy — 9% of films. A flaw or fixation drives the protagonist to ruin.Rebirth — 13% of films. A stalled or darkened life reopened and renewed.Mystery — 7% of films. A question drives the story — who did it, what happened, what is real — until it is answered.No archetype — 22% of filmsPredator — 6% of films. A creature or killer hunts the protagonists (Jaws, Alien).Tyrant — 6% of films. A human villain holds power over the hero's world (Die Hard).Invasion — 2% of films. An external force attacks the home or world (Independence Day).Oppressive state — 2% of films. A government, its agencies or a secret faction inside them is the monster (V for Vendetta).Corporate villainy — 1% of films. A company or its bosses are the monster (Erin Brockovich).Institutional injustice — 1% of films. A court, prison, police force, school or church is itself the enemy (Spotlight).Class system — under 1% of films. The gap between rich and poor, or a rigid hierarchy, is the monster (Parasite).Technology turns — under 1% of films. Technology people rely on becomes the threat (The Terminator).Inner demon — 1% of films. The monster is within — addiction, illness, a dark double.Underdog triumph — 2% of films. Rise through competition or contest (Rocky).Social ascent — under 1% of films. A climb in class or status (Pretty Woman).Fame and fortune — under 1% of films. An artistic or showbiz rise (A Star Is Born).Rise and fall — under 1% of films. Wealth or power gained, self lost (Scarface).Hidden worth revealed — under 1% of films. The protagonist's true value finally recognized.Treasure hunt — 1% of films. Retrieve an object of value (Raiders of the Lost Ark).Rescue — 4% of films. Retrieve or save a person (Saving Private Ryan).Mission — 5% of films. Accomplish or destroy a defined objective (Mission: Impossible).Journey home — under 1% of films. The goal is getting back (Finding Nemo).Pilgrimage — 1% of films. The journey itself transforms; the destination is symbolic.Portal fantasy — under 1% of films. Transported into another world (The Wizard of Oz).Fish out of water — 2% of films. Displaced into an unfamiliar social world (Elf).Survival ordeal — 1% of films. Trapped in a hostile environment, fighting back (Cast Away).Time displacement — under 1% of films. Unstuck in time (Back to the Future).Descent — 1% of films. A night-journey into an underworld or subculture (After Hours).Romantic comedy — 4% of films. Lovers kept apart by confusion, united at last.Comedy of errors — 3% of films. Mistaken identity or misunderstanding drives the plot.Farce — 2% of films. Escalating absurd chaos and coincidence (The Hangover).Buddy comedy — 1% of films. A mismatched pair forced together (Rush Hour).Comedy of manners — 1% of films. Social codes and class satirized (Clueless).Hubris — 1% of films. Pride or ambition invites the fall (There Will Be Blood).Obsession — 2% of films. A fixation consumes the protagonist (Black Swan).Corruption arc — 2% of films. Step-by-step moral decay (The Godfather).Doomed love — 2% of films. Love destroyed by circumstance (Brokeback Mountain).Crushed by fate — 3% of films. Destroyed by forces beyond the protagonist's control.Redemption — 3% of films. Moral reawakening of a hardened soul (A Christmas Carol).Healing — 5% of films. Recovery from grief or trauma (Good Will Hunting).Liberation — 2% of films. Breaking free of a confining life (Room).Second chance — 2% of films. A stagnant life re-opened to love or purpose (Groundhog Day).Puzzle — 1% of films. A clue-by-clue puzzle you can try to solve before the reveal (Knives Out, Clue).Investigation — 5% of films. A long pursuit of the truth that may never be fully solved (Zodiac, Memories of Murder).Enigma — 2% of films. The mystery is what is real, or what is actually happening (Mulholland Drive).
Every story archetype, clockwise from the top
  • Monster 21%: Predator 6% · Tyrant 6% · Invasion 2% · Oppressive state 2% · Corporate villainy 1% · Institutional injustice 1% · Class system under 1% · Technology turns under 1% · Inner demon 1%
  • Rags 3%: Underdog triumph 2% · Social ascent under 1% · Fame and fortune under 1% · Rise and fall under 1% · Hidden worth revealed under 1%
  • Quest 10%: Treasure hunt 1% · Rescue 4% · Mission 5% · Journey home under 1% · Pilgrimage 1%
  • Voyage 4%: Portal fantasy under 1% · Fish out of water 2% · Survival ordeal 1% · Time displacement under 1% · Descent 1%
  • Comedy 11%: Romantic comedy 4% · Comedy of errors 3% · Farce 2% · Buddy comedy 1% · Comedy of manners 1%
  • Tragedy 9%: Hubris 1% · Obsession 2% · Corruption arc 2% · Doomed love 2% · Crushed by fate 3%
  • Rebirth 13%: Redemption 3% · Healing 5% · Liberation 2% · Second chance 2%
  • Mystery 7%: Puzzle 1% · Investigation 5% · Enigma 2%
  • No archetype 22% (this title)

No archetype fits — true of 22% of films: ensemble pieces, satire, slice-of-life.

Why this archetypeThis documentary recounts a real-life romance; no conventional narrative archetype fits.

What it's about

7 groups · 53 themes
Bonds — 27% of filmsSelf — 22% of filmsPower — 7% of filmsMorality — 16% of filmsSurvival — 15% of filmsSociety — 9% of filmsIdeas — 5% of filmsRomantic love — 15% of filmsMarriage — 2% of filmsFamily bonds — 21% of filmsParenthood — 2% of filmsFriendship — 9% of filmsLoyalty — 4% of filmsIdentity — 14% of filmsComing of age — 5% of filmsAging — under 1% of filmsSelf-worth — 7% of filmsAmbition — 7% of filmsPurpose — 9% of filmsMemory — 3% of filmsObsession — 3% of films. A fixation consumes the protagonist (Black Swan).Power — 2% of filmsCorruption — 3% of filmsGreed — 3% of filmsClass — 3% of filmsOppression — 4% of filmsFreedom — 5% of filmsJustice — 13% of filmsDuty — 2% of filmsRevenge — 4% of filmsGuilt — 3% of filmsRedemption — 6% of films. Moral reawakening of a hardened soul (A Christmas Carol).Forgiveness — 1% of filmsSacrifice — 4% of filmsBetrayal — 5% of filmsDeception — 9% of filmsSurvival — 17% of filmsWar — 1% of filmsViolence — 4% of filmsMortality — 2% of filmsGrief — 6% of filmsTrauma — 7% of filmsMental illness — 1% of filmsAddiction — 1% of filmsIllness and disability — under 1% of filmsCommunity — 14% of films. Consequences reach a town, institution or group.Isolation — 5% of filmsPrejudice — 3% of filmsDisplacement — 1% of filmsFaith — 3% of filmsTradition vs change — 2% of filmsFame — 3% of filmsLegacy — 4% of filmsFate — 1% of filmsFree will — under 1% of filmsTruth — 4% of filmsHope — 5% of filmsNature — 2% of filmsArt — 4% of filmsTechnology — 1% of filmsSelfRomanticlove
Every theme, clockwise from the top
  • Bonds 27% (this title): Romantic love 15% (this title) · Marriage 2% · Family bonds 21% · Parenthood 2% · Friendship 9% · Loyalty 4%
  • Self 22%: Identity 14% · Coming of age 5% · Aging under 1% · Self-worth 7% · Ambition 7% · Purpose 9% · Memory 3% · Obsession 3%
  • Power 7%: Power 2% · Corruption 3% · Greed 3% · Class 3% · Oppression 4% · Freedom 5%
  • Morality 16%: Justice 13% · Duty 2% · Revenge 4% · Guilt 3% · Redemption 6% · Forgiveness 1% · Sacrifice 4% · Betrayal 5% · Deception 9%
  • Survival 15%: Survival 17% · War 1% · Violence 4% · Mortality 2% (this title) · Grief 6% (this title) · Trauma 7% · Mental illness 1% · Addiction 1% · Illness and disability under 1%
  • Society 9%: Community 14% · Isolation 5% · Prejudice 3% · Displacement 1% · Faith 3% · Tradition vs change 2% · Fame 3% · Legacy 4%
  • Ideas 5%: Fate 1% · Free will under 1% · Truth 4% · Hope 5% · Nature 2% · Art 4% · Technology 1%

Bonds

Romantic love · 15% of filmsGrief · 6% of filmsMortality · 2% of films
Mourns its theme: Grieves its theme, or what has been lost of it.Intimate stakes: Consequences reach a person or a household.Dual lead
How it treats its themeThe film centers on Tim and John's deep romantic bond and the grief of losing a partner to illness.
StanceThe documentary honors and grieves the love between two men, treating their romance and loss with reverence rather than judgment.

The world

Late 20th centuryUrbanDomesticInstitutionalRealistic
Orchestral classicalFolkSupportive music · original score · Dale Cornelius
SettingMelbourne, Australia, from the 1970s through the 1990s

Cast and crew

Who is in Remembering the Man?

Cast

Richard Bligh
as James Waites
George Banders
as Tim Conigrave
Reece Manning
as John Caleo
Denis Moore
as Mr. Caleo
Lise Rodgers
as Mrs. Caleo
Patrick Frost
as Mr. Conigrave
Julie-Anne Goodwin
as Mrs. Conigrave
Graham Turner
as Priest
Michael Nadalin
as Young Tim
Cory Corbett
as Soft Targets Recreations

Crew

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